A Better Report

May 07, 2025

We arrived at the door of the troop master and knocked. His wife soon came and poked her head out.

“We need to speak with the troop master on a matter of some urgency, in private,” My Father said.

“I will tell him,” she replied. “Please wait here.”

It was some minutes before the door opened again. The troop master sat at his table, eating some soup. His wife was in the background, busy at the stove. All of the children were, obviously, up in their rooms. It had been an awkward time of day for us to arrive, but we had no choice.

“Sir,” Father began, “We went exploring in cave twenty-seven, subsection a-twelve today. My son has a report which we need to bring immediately to your attention.”

My troop master was a serious man at the most informal of times. Having us interrupt him at home, signalling important matters afoot, made him more so. He, like my troop mates, could probably not imagine why we would have had to be meeting like this, but nothing of that showed in his demeanour. He merely nodded at me to begin.

“Sir, before I begin my report proper, I believe that I need to give you some background information. As you know my family and I have only recently come to this city. I had some experiences on my trip that I believe will be relevant to my report.”

“As a Dwarf youth in my home city, I studied the Farmer language, as most of our youth did. When I boarded ship, this was all that I spoke. On board ship, I became very good friends with a Fisherboy who encouraged me to learn to speak their language, and I have been studying it ever since.”

/And how much have you learned?/ he asked, in that language.

/Not as much as I would have liked; however, an Elf friend of mine was very diligent in teaching me, and we can now converse on most topics without struggling too much. My younger Brother has been learning it as well, and we often speak it at home./

/Very well, go on./

/So, as I was saying, I have been learning Fisherboy. On ship we spoke Farmer with all of the other races, except when the Elves would practice their Dwarvish on us. But of course the other races all spoke their own languages with each other, so I heard those frequently./

I wondered whether to tell him about the swimming and sleeping with the Fisherboys, but didn’t quite see how it was relevant.

/Then, when we arrived at ‘The Day’, I was again surrounded by several languages. And I met a new friend, Meical, and as he came along with us on our trip, we became very good friends. He would frequently sleep over at my house, and I at his./

Impassive as he was, I saw him start slightly at this.

/In addition we together made a friend of Nhomhisosh, a Horseboy, and now my Brother-in-law./

At this he looked frankly incredulous, and looked over at Father, who nodded his agreement.

/I never spent the night at his ‘house’ obviously, but we spent a great deal of time together, and I was exposed quite a bit to his language./

My troop master could have no idea where any of this was leading, but he caught my focus, and asked,//Speak then you Horseman?//

//Some, not much. Not can I tell story in Horseman. Understand more than speak.//

He nodded, sat back, and I continued, “In addition there were many Trolls on the trip, and Meical and I spent many nights with them. Before you bother asking, I can’t do more than simple greetings in Troll.”

“So, in conclusion to my introduction, I would ask you to keep in mind, when I give my report, that I speak two languages well, a third not so well, and have recently been exposed to several others, from Troll to Spearman, in frequent contact.”

He nodded again, and I continued.

I won’t bore you with my recitation of my climbing and all. Besides, it was full of highly technical Dwarf terms which don’t translate. But I will relate the ending, as it came out much better than the first time.

“And then I moved out of the cave into the narrow crack that was above it. I must apologize for breaking the rule against being out in the open alone, in my excitement I forgot it.

”

“The crack extended about seventy feet downhill, and thirty feet uphill. The ground was covered with a slate scree. The walls were mostly slate as well. The top of the crack was covered in grass, some of which hung over the edge. It seemed apparent that the downhill side of the crack led to a cliff, while I could see a pasture on the uphill side of the crack. I proceeded up to the pasture.”

Here I paused, and my troop master looked at me expectantly. All of this made for a great report, no doubt, but nothing that would have led my Father and I to interrupt his family's important evening routine. I took a deep breath, and continued.

“The pasture led off in both directions for several hundred yards, and was grass covered. It was bounded on the uphill side by a cliff, granite in composition I believe, but I did not examine it. The sun was very hot and I took off my jacket, throwing it over my shoulder. I stood for several minutes admiring the view.”

“At this point I went back to the crack and bent down into it, in an attempt to look down and determine the height of the bottom cliff. Immediately after I did so, I felt a sharp tug at my jacket. It was ripped out of my hands, and I was lifted off my feet and plunged into the crack.”

“I sensed something behind me and I started crawling back to the cave. When I was halfway there, I received another blow and pitched the rest of the way into the crack, falling to the ground in the cave. I had twisted in mid air, and landed on my feet and knees.”

“Above me in the hole was a head. It was triangular in shape, and green in color. It had a wide, flattened nose, and broad, flat ears on either side of its head. It had its mouth open and seemed to be attempting to fit its body further into the crack, so as to extend its neck and seize me with its mouth.”

“The attempt failed, however, and after some fruitless struggle it gave up and pulled itself out of the crack. I was able to observe its next movements. It shook itself off, launched itself off the cliff, and flew away.”

I stopped. I didn’t think the type of flight was relevant for now, and I needed to gather my courage and wits for the next bit. He looked at me expectantly, and I could feel Father’s eyes on my back.

“Sir, during the struggle to reach me, and subsequently when it was preparing for flight, the creature made noises. It is my considered opinion, having spent considerable time recently in the presence of languages not my own, that it was not making mere animal noises, but that it was speaking an intelligent language.”

There- I had said it. I stood and waited.

“So, not only a Dragon, but a talking Dragon?” the Troop Master said. He studied me for a while and then turned to Father.

“And what is your opinion of this lad’s tale?” he asked. My ears burned at his choice of language, although later I understood that he was giving Father a way to depreciate my ‘tale’ without casting aspersions on my ‘report’. But…

“I believe he is giving his honest opinion, and that we must give it considerable credence. I will admit that I dismissed it at first; however, I am now inclined to believe it.”

“What changed your mind?”

“He told a much better story this time.”

Island People

Island People is a young adult fantasy book centring on a young prince. The book starts with his kidnapping and follows his adventures as he not only escapes from his kidnapper but gains critical allies and friends.

The entire book is scheduled on Substack, and there are several sequels. This is a book I wrote years ago, so it is in a bit of a rough form. Critiques and comments are more than welcome, they are requested.

Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!

Being ‘restacked’ and mentioned in ‘notes’ is very important for lesser-known stacks so… feel free! I’m semi-retired and write as a ministry (and for fun) so you don’t need to feel guilty you aren’t paying for anything, but if you enjoy my writing (even if you dramatically disagree with it), then restack, please! Or mention me in one of your own posts.

If I don’t write you back it is almost certain that I didn’t see it, so please feel free to comment and link to your post. Or if you just think I would be interested in your post!

If you get lost, check out my ‘Table of Contents’ which I try to keep up to date.

Von also writes as ‘Arthur Yeomans’. Under that name he writes children’s, YA, and adult fiction from a Christian perspective. His books are published by Wise Path Books and include the children’s/YA books:

The Bobtails meet the Preacher’s Kid

The Bobtails and the Cousins

The Bobtails go to France

and

No Ordinary School

As well as GK Chesterton’s wonderful book, “What’s Wrong with the World”, for which ‘Arthur’ wrote most of the annotations.

Arthur also has a substack, and a website. On the substack you can listen to some of his published books. Free.

Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,

Von