Helping Them: Pastors

I said that 99.82% of all of fault in the failure of ‘helping’ our unmarried people get married lies with the fathers. So now, in a startling example of what the concept of ‘overlapping responsibility’ means, I am going to give 99.99% of the fault to pastors. Pastors, elders, teachers, authors, Godly men in the church in general. Those to whom God has given the responsibility to teach doctrine. They have failed, and failed mightily. They have failed to ‘let them marry’.

Introduction

This post is the third in a series of posts discussing how we can solve the marriage crisis, and where I propose a radical, never been tried before solution: married people should help the unmarried people get married. That it is stupid, and unhelpful, to just sit back and complain about the overall economy, moral decay, and lack of suitable spouses (ironically with posts on how few marriageable young women there are alternating with those complaining about the lack of marriageable young men). That what is needed is for the rest of us to get off the couch and… get them married.

In my first post I pointed out that this will mean that the unmarried people themselves will have to accept help. And not just accept it, but seek it out. And listen to it. Nay, to obey it.

In my second post I pointed the finger at fathers. That they need to lead their family on this issue, teaching and modelling the importance (and fun) of marriage. And reject the maxim ‘I just want them to be happy’ root and branch.

Downhill

It has been said, with some justification, that water flows downhill. (Along with less savoury material). Thus, when the church is filled with false doctrine and practice, we need to look… uphill. Which, doctrinally, are where the pastors are. Pastors, theologians, teachers, authors… we all bear the responsibility for the doctrine in our churches.

Sure, it is possible that every single pastor, teacher, theologian, and author is teaching absolutely inerrant doctrine on the issue of how to get married and… oh, wait, no, it’s not. First, I can’t seem to find any that are. Secondly, while ordinary people go against good teaching, they don’t tend to go against it to that extent.

Doctrine

The first thing that pastors need to do is get their doctrinal ducks in order. And that is going to be a long, hard struggle for most of them because their current doctrine is so far away from Biblical doctrine you can’t see it with a telescope. Practically all of their teaching on how to get married, and much of their teaching on what marriage is, is false and unBiblical.

Role

I imagine that some pastors will immediately complain, “I’m not a matchmaker.” Well… wrong. First of all, the actual role that I have called you to so far is that of theologian and teacher. Secondly, shepherds have always been matchmakers. Read the story of Jacob.

No, seriously. When you get done your sermon, when you have your ducks in order, when you have your conversation on board, you, the pastor, are the one that has the contacts and has the authority to contact other churches and say, “We need to get our unmarried people married. I’ve got three extra girls; who do you have?”

Conclusion

So, pastors, teachers, authors, theologians… hopefully, I’ve ruined your day but made your year. Hopefully, you have been deep in prayer over the catastrophic lack of marriages in your churches and are thrilled with the idea that there is something you can do… even if it means that you have to do something.

If you have any sense, you are already thinking about the pushback that you will receive if you accept my advice; if you have any, umm, courage, you will do it anyway.

In order for the church, at least, to get out of the pit we have dug for ourselves, you will need to: 1) Study on this issue, 2) Teach on this issue, and 3)Start networking. And, along the way, resist the slings and arrows of outraged parishioners.

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Von