Sanctified Gossip

Everyone knows that gossip is wrong, right? Well, yes, if it goes by that name then most people will at least say that they think it is wrong. But what is gossip? Or, perhaps better, what does Scripture forbid? What should we avoid?

And is there something that we are doing that is gossip, but which has slipped through the cracks? Something I call ‘Sanctified Gossip’?

Lies

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Ephesians 4:15

The first thing that is forbidden are lies. Lies, damned lies and, one supposes, statistics. We are called upon to speak the truth. In love, but the truth. Not lies in love, and not the truth in hatred. The truth in love.

None Yours

A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

Proverbs 11:13

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Proverbs 16:28

Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

Proverbs 26:20

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

Proverbs 21:23

To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.

Titus 3:2

And we are only called to speak of our own affairs. If lying is the first part of gossiping, the second part is talking about others.

Directly

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Matthew 18:15-17

Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:16

The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

Proverbs 18:8

For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults:

II Corinthians 12:20

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Proverbs 17:9

But even though those are the primary attacks of gossip, there is a third area where I think the biggest problem lies. Here is where I think the heart of sanctified gossip is. We are called to speak… directly. We are not called to speak to our boss about how our co-workers are treating us. At least, not until we have talked to them first.

And where the sanctification really comes in is… we aren’t called to go talk to our pastor about our problems with other parishioners. We are called to… go talk to them. Directly to the person that has offended us.

Sanctified Gossip

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Ephesians 4:29

Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.

There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
James 4:11-12

So this is what I am calling ‘Sanctified Gossip’. It is when Mrs Jones goes to speak to Pastor Smith about Brother Bob. Brother Bob is not treating her well, and she is bound and determined to talk to Pastor Smith about it.

And Pastor Smith listens. It’s his job, isn’t it? To care for the sheep? And how can he care for the sheep when he doesn’t listen to them?

But Pastor Smith has forgotten that the first goal of a shepherd is not to ‘listen’, it is to lead. And listening to gossip is not leading… at least not leading in the right direction.

Conclusion

The evil of gossip does not go away because the person you are talking to is the pastor. Indeed the pastor, above all others, has the responsibility to lead his flock in condemning gossip. If you have something against a brother… go to the brother. And if it is none of your business… it is none of your business.

—

Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!

Being ‘restacked’ and mentioned in ‘notes’ is very important for lesser-known stacks so… feel free! I’m semi-retired and write as a ministry (and for fun) so you don’t need to feel guilty you aren’t paying for anything, but if you enjoy my writing (even if you dramatically disagree with it), then restack, please! Or mention me in one of your own posts.

If I don’t write you back it is almost certain that I didn’t see it, so please feel free to comment and link to your post. Or if you just think I would be interested in your post!

If you get lost, check out my ‘Table of Contents’ which I try to keep up to date.

Von also writes as ‘Arthur Yeomans’. Under that name he writes children’s, YA, and adult fiction from a Christian perspective. His books are published by Wise Path Books and include the children’s/YA books:

The Bobtails meet the Preacher’s Kid: A Christian historical fiction chapter book about four orphans who go to live with their aunt on a dairy farm.

The Bobtails and the Cousins: The sequel to Preacher’s Kid. The aunt has married, and the cousins come to visit. Meaning town kids dealing with chores and manure and…

The Bobtails go to France: The sequel to cousins. The Bobtails, and Preacher’s Kid, get to take a trip to New York, London, Paris, and a small town in France. To get some cheese.

and

No Ordinary School: A brilliant but socially clueless boy gets recruited for a special school. Where he makes a lot of money, gets a girl, and solves a mystery.

As well as GK Chesterton’s wonderful book, “What’s Wrong with the World”, for which ‘Arthur’ wrote most of the annotations.

Arthur also has a substack, and a website. On the substack you can listen to some of his published books. Free.

Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,

Von

Some Passages

Proverbs 16:28 ESV / 13,732 helpful votes

A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

Proverbs 20:19 ESV / 12,458 helpful votes

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Proverbs 11:13 ESV / 12,452 helpful votes

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 12,290 helpful votes

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 26:20 ESV / 10,883 helpful votes

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.

Leviticus 19:16 ESV / 8,984 helpful votes

You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord.

Proverbs 18:8 ESV / 8,357 helpful votes

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Psalm 34:13 ESV / 7,802 helpful votes

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.

Proverbs 10:18 ESV / 7,529 helpful votes

The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.

1 Timothy 5:13 ESV / 7,464 helpful votes

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.

2 Corinthians 12:20 ESV / 6,826 helpful votes

For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.

James 1:26 ESV / 6,543 helpful votes

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Proverbs 11:9 ESV / 6,026 helpful votes

With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.

Exodus 23:1 ESV / 6,013 helpful votes

“You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.

James 4:11 ESV / 5,984 helpful votes

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

Psalm 101:5 ESV / 5,944 helpful votes

Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.

Romans 1:29 ESV / 5,916 helpful votes

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips,

Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV / 5,395 helpful votes

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

Proverbs 26:22 ESV / 5,069 helpful votes

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Proverbs 21:23 ESV / 4,945 helpful votes

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 17:4 ESV / 4,715 helpful votes

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.

Titus 3:2 ESV / 4,705 helpful votes

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

Proverbs 17:9 ESV / 4,625 helpful votes

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Psalm 141:3 ESV / 4,421 helpful votes

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

Proverbs 25:23 ESV / 3,990 helpful votes

The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

Matthew 12:36 ESV / 3,748 helpful votes

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 18:21 ESV / 3,730 helpful votes

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 10:19 ESV / 3,482 helpful votes

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Luke 6:31 ESV / 3,437 helpful votes

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

Psalm 15:2-3 ESV / 3,310 helpful votes

He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;

Philippians 4:8 ESV / 3,185 helpful votes

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Proverbs 13:3 ESV / 3,140 helpful votes

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

James 3:5 ESV / 3,129 helpful votes

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

Proverbs 26:20-22 ESV / 2,993 helpful votes

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Exodus 20:16 ESV / 2,974 helpful votes

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Romans 1:29-32 ESV / 2,901 helpful votes

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

Romans 1:28-32 ESV / 2,898 helpful votes

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

Colossians 3:8 ESV / 2,738 helpful votes

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

1 Peter 4:15 ESV / 2,737 helpful votes

But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.

Matthew 5:11 ESV / 2,709 helpful votes

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Colossians 4:6 ESV / 2,665 helpful votes

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Psalm 19:14 ESV / 2,631 helpful votes

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Matthew 7:12 ESV / 2,608 helpful votes

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

2 Timothy 2:16 ESV / 2,576 helpful votes

But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,

Proverbs 19:5 ESV / 2,554 helpful votes

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.

2 Thessalonians 3:11 ESV / 2,520 helpful votes

For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.

Ephesians 4:31 ESV / 2,510 helpful votes

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Romans 1:29-30 ESV / 2,490 helpful votes

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

1 Thessalonians 4:11 ESV / 2,419 helpful votes

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,

Jeremiah 6:28 ESV / 2,403 helpful votes

They are all stubbornly rebellious, going about with slanders; they are bronze and iron; all of them act corruptly.

Proverbs 15:4 ESV / 2,290 helpful votes

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

1 Peter 2:1 ESV / 2,279 helpful votes

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.

Matthew 18:17 ESV / 2,251 helpful votes

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Psalm 31:18 ESV / 2,197 helpful votes

Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV / 2,176 helpful votes

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Matthew 18:1-35 ESV / 2,155 helpful votes

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, ...

1 Timothy 5:19 ESV / 2,154 helpful votes

Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.

1 Peter 3:16 ESV / 2,120 helpful votes

Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

Ephesians 5:11 ESV / 2,115 helpful votes

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

1 Timothy 5:13-14 ESV / 2,056 helpful votes

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

Titus 2:2-3 ESV / 2,017 helpful votes

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

James 3:8 ESV / 2,000 helpful votes

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Psalm 41:7 ESV / 1,928 helpful votes

All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me.

Proverbs 18:6-7 ESV / 1,887 helpful votes

A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

Proverbs 16:27 ESV / 1,850 helpful votes

A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.

Psalm 15:1-5 ESV / 1,843 helpful votes

A Psalm of David. O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; who swears to his own hurt and does not change; who does not put out his money at interest and does not take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.

Psalm 41:6 ESV / 1,807 helpful votes

And when one comes to see me, he utters empty words, while his heart gathers iniquity; when he goes out, he tells it abroad.

Psalm 23:1-6 ESV / 1,782 helpful votes

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. ...

1 Timothy 3:9-11 ESV / 1,774 helpful votes

They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.

Ephesians 4:25 ESV / 1,773 helpful votes

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Matthew 7:1 ESV / 1,757 helpful votes

“Judge not, that you be not judged.

Proverbs 11:12 ESV / 1,754 helpful votes

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

Deuteronomy 13:14 ESV / 1,713 helpful votes

Then you shall inquire and make search and ask diligently. And behold, if it be true and certain that such an abomination has been done among you,

Psalm 15:3 ESV / 1,707 helpful votes

Who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;

Proverbs 26:28 ESV / 1,678 helpful votes

A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin.

Isaiah 1:1-31 ESV / 1,667 helpful votes

The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the Lord has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me. The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master's crib, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.” Ah, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, offspring of evildoers, children who deal corruptly! They have forsaken the Lord, they have despised the Holy One of Israel, they are utterly estranged. Why will you still be struck down? Why will you continue to rebel? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. ...

Proverbs 26:17 ESV / 1,608 helpful votes

Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.

Psalm 50:20 ESV / 1,588 helpful votes

You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother's son.

Proverbs 12:22 ESV / 1,546 helpful votes

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

James 3:2 ESV / 1,520 helpful votes

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

Ezekiel 36:3 ESV / 1,514 helpful votes

Therefore prophesy, and say, Thus says the Lord God: Precisely because they made you desolate and crushed you from all sides, so that you became the possession of the rest of the nations, and you became the talk and evil gossip of the people,

Proverbs 25:9-10 ESV / 1,499 helpful votes

Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.

Proverbs 19:9 ESV / 1,484 helpful votes

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.

Proverbs 11:1-13:25 ESV / 1,419 helpful votes

A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death. The righteousness of the blameless keeps his way straight, but the wicked falls by his own wickedness. ...

Matthew 5:1-11:30 ESV / 1,392 helpful votes

Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. ...

Revelation 1:1 ESV / 1,354 helpful votes

The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John,

James 3:6 ESV / 1,351 helpful votes

And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

Proverbs 18:7-8 ESV / 1,283 helpful votes

A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

1 Timothy 3:11 ESV / 1,243 helpful votes

Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.

John 3:16-17 ESV / 1,226 helpful votes

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Psalm 15:1-3 ESV / 1,123 helpful votes

A Psalm of David. O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;

Proverbs 10:2 ESV / 1,096 helpful votes

Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death.

Titus 2:3 ESV / 1,092 helpful votes

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

Proverbs 16:1-28:28 ESV / 1,085 helpful votes

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished. ...

Romans 1:30 ESV / 1,007 helpful votes

Slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

Matthew 18:16 ESV / 982 helpful votes

But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

Psalm 15:2 ESV / 960 helpful votes

He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;

Proverbs 15:1 ESV / 899 helpful votes

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

James 4:17 ESV / 789 helpful votes

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Titus 3:1-2 ESV / 774 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.