Some Random Thoughts on Divorce

God hates divorce. Feel free to start a theological argument on that, I’m up for it. But I’m starting this random collection of thoughts with ‘God hates divorce’.

I am rather sick of watching these people glorify their divorce by presenting two options: “We either had to divorce or…” fill in the blank, “…keep fighting each other” “… stay unhappy” etc ad nauseam. But the one that really fries my pancakes is when they try to bring in the children. Like, “.. for the good of the children…”. They will say “We told the children that we will always love them, but mommy and daddy need to…” yada yada nonsense.

How about a third option? How about you tell the kids you love them, and will always love them, and because you love them you will get down off  your own high horse and remember that you also promised your spouse you would always love them. So if you are going to commit to always loving your children, and have it mean anything, you have to keep the same commitment you made to your spouse, And live it out. And suck it up and live together and sleep together and raise your kids together and show them that you love them… together.

“God wants me to be happy”, goes the cry of the modern woman as she divorces her husband. To which one can only answer, “Have you read the Scriptures?” Have you read the word that God uses for us? And that the apostles use for themselves and for us in relationship to God? Try the word ‘slave’. 

God doesn’t want you to be happy. Nowhere in Scripture does God say He wants us, in general, all the time, to be ‘happy’. Matter of fact, when He mentions anything like it, it is typically in the form of a command for how to behave when, say, being persecuted. Far from saying ‘when life gets tough, bail on your most important commitments cause then you’ll be happy’, its more like, ‘Your most important commitments are going to come with some pretty strong difficulties. Like, even getting beaten, shipwrecked, or even, say, crucified.’

To say that something is ‘simple’ is not to say it is ‘easy’. ‘Simple’ is the opposite of ‘complex’: and choosing to love your wife, as you promised to do, and as you are commanded to do, is not a ‘complex’ solution… even if it is not ‘easy’.

‘Easy’ is the opposite of ‘hard’, and it may well be hard to actually do the right thing and love your wife, as you promised to do, and as you are commanded to do…

But what I was pointing out is that it is the ‘logical’ thing to do. That if you believe it is OK to tell your children ‘I will always love you’, then you cannot logically be speaking of ‘love’ as a feeling, but as a series of actions. Which is how the Scriptures define love.

And if you can make such a commitment to your children, then you can, and should, make such a commitment to your wife… indeed you have done so and you should follow up on it.

I read a post the other day where a divorced woman complained that people were ‘Praying for [her] reconciliation.” The poster focused on the word ‘reconciliation’ in their complaint, but I wish to focus on the word ‘praying’ in my response.

The word ‘prayer’, when used by a Christian, means something like this, “I am going to ask the omnipotent, all wise, all knowing and all loving creator to act to effect your reconciliation.” Given that meaning any issues of how difficult it would be, how much you would not like it, how impossible it would be to get your husband to begin to act in a Godly way, etc. Etc. are, quite simple, irrelevant. Indeed silly.

Go back and look at the words ‘omnipotent’… it means there is no job too hard for Him. “All knowing” (omnisicent)… it means He knows exactly how, when, and why it should be done. “Loving”… it means that if He does do it it will be exactly how it should be, a reflection of His perfect love.

So… leave the person with the child like faith in the power of God alone. They know what they are talking about. You don’t.

Conclusion

To conclude these random thoughts I would like to speak to the people who surround the person getting a divorce. Why do you support such treachery and oath breaking? How can you possibly think it is at all Biblical to aid a woman in breaking her vow to God, that she made in front of you and dozens of others. You should be cursing her, not consoling her.

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Von