Submission in Silence
Submission is a hard thing. And not just because we are tempted to be disobedient, but because we are tempted to open our mouths and overwhelm those in our authority over us. Submission does not only require obedience… it requires silence!
Introduction
This post is a continuation of my dialogue with Ross Byrd over the meaning of the New Testament passages commanding women to be in submission to their own husbands. We have discussed how our English translations use words such as ‘obey’, ‘reverence’, ‘Lord’, ‘subjection to’, and ‘submission’ in the relevant passages.
But that only gets us part of the way toward seeing how we need to apply these passages. Apply them as wives toward our husband, and apply them as teachers toward our wives and the women in our congregations.
Silence
This post is going to concentrate on a word that the New Testament uses frequently in relationship to wifely submission: that of ‘silence’.
Ask their husbands at home
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?
If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.
But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.
Wherefore, brethren, covet to prophesy, and forbid not to speak with tongues.
Let all things be done decently and in order.
I Corinthians 14:33-40
I think that most modern men would find it rather shocking to be allowed to ask questions in church. But perhaps even more shocking that they could, and their wives couldn’t. But that is the Biblical injunction.
And, harder than that, that the men need to be prepared for their wives to ask them the questions… at home. In our age which ignores the idea of daily family worship, and in which men just sort of ‘attend church’ and don’t do any study of their own… this leaves them (and their wives) rather iffy on the whole ‘ask your husband at home’ thing.
Which just means she needs to be asking more. Quietly, submissively but, umm, obediently. And, speaking to the men here, they need to start asking questions in church, doing study at home, and leading in family worship! Daily!! With a time for questions!!!
Saved in Childbearing
I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
I Timothy 2:8-15
The contrast here is stark: silent in church, saved in childbearing. Stark and offensive, I’m sure. But grounded in creation. Faith, charity, holiness, humility, good works, silence, subjection… and childbearing.
Without a Word
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
I Peter 3:1-6
Lest the wife think that it is only the Godly husband that they are called to be in subjection to, Peter gives the opposite example, the contrary instruction. Here he calls the wife of the disobedient, unGodly man to… be silent. To win her husband without the word. To win him by her behaviour, her Godly behaviour. Her meek and quiet Godly behaviour, which may go so far as calling him ‘Lord’.
The Older Women
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5
Unfortunately for the young wife, the new mother, it is not just the husband or the church that they are to be silent in front of. The word isn’t used here, but the implication is clear: when the older woman comes with marriage advice: be silent and listen. Listen and learn. Learn how to be sober, to love your husband, to love your children, to be discreet, to be chaste, how to keep at home, how to be good… and how to be obedient to your own husband.
Because, else, the threat is there: the Word of God will be blasphemed. The young woman who fails to listen, fails to learn, fails to apply… risks blaspheming the Word of God.
Conclusion
My glory was fresh in me, and my bow was renewed in my hand.
Unto me men gave ear, and waited, and kept silence at my counsel.
After my words they spake not again; and my speech dropped upon them.
And they waited for me as for the rain; and they opened their mouth wide as for the latter rain.
Job 29:20-23
There is nothing at all shocking about the idea that someone under authority should be silent in the face of their authority. Not only the Scriptures but our ordinary life is filled with such. So it should come as no surprise that the submission required of wives should also involve silence.
And when searching for application for submission, this is obviously a critical point: be silent. When faced with a husband disobeying The Word: live obediently and be silent. When you have a question about some doctrine in church: be silent in church, and ask your husband at home. When thinking about teaching in church: be silent, and let your good works speak for you.
And, and this may be the hardest one of all, when you are starting out your new adventure of being a wife and mother and some officious older woman comes up to give you advice: shut up and listen. Listen, and shut up.
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Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,
Von
