The Limits
Sex has limits. In the Christian Worldview, in God’s eyes, sex isn’t just any old sex. Sex is, at the very least, confined by prohibitions against adultery (sex or romance with another man’s wife), fornication (sex or romance between two unmarried people), Sodomy (any sexual activity except that between a married man and a married woman. Actual man and actual woman, not modern perversions), necrophilia, pedophilia, bestiality, etc etc.
Sex for the Christian, that is sex which has and fulfils the purpose God has for it, is only sex between an actual man and an actual woman who are covenantally committed to each other. All other romantic and sexual activity is outside of God’s created design.
Children
The first and most obvious (and most maligned) purpose of sex is children. Sex which is in opposition to children is not Christian sex. It is at the very least oppositional to God’s purposes.
(Note for those who do not read carefully. This does not mean ‘sex which cannot produce children for natural reasons’…such as one or the other is infertile (which, as the Scripture clearly shows, can produce children), or the woman is already pregnant. It only means sex *in opposition* to children; sex where they are trying to avoid producing children.)
And the having of children of sex is generational. The goal is to have lots of children who will ahve lots of children who will have lots of children… rinse and repeat indefinitely.
Let’s remember what happened to Onan.
Raising Children Together
Sex (which, if you need a reminder, only consists of activity between a man and a woman in covenant) is designed to put those children in an environment where the man and the woman raise the children (and have more sex, and make more children, who are raised in that environment, rinse and repeat.). A father (male) and a mother (female). Raising them together.
Raising Children: staying together
Now, I wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone… oh, wait, yes I would. I do it all the time. So, anyway, one reason for sex is so that the couple will stay together. This is a pretty earthy way to look at it, but God is pretty clear on it, so… the couple that sleeps together tends to stay together. And by sleeps together I mean, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” So… blessed, rejoice, hind and row, breasts, satisfied, ravished… at all times and always. So, no stinting. That kind of thing.
So if you get mad at your husband (or wife, I suppose it happens) and decide to stop having sex… you are violating the purpose that sex was given. If you divorce them… you are violating that purpose. One of your jobs in the marriage, an actual command, is to have frequent sex with your spouse. To love them, cherish them, nourish them, care for the… and have sex with them.
Reflecting God
Sex (I repeat my earlier description) is designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. Ok, I’d better repeat that for those who just passed out. The sexual activity between a man and a woman (ditto) in covenant together, is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church and, before that, of God and Israel.
Sex is not a trivial thing. The enjoyment of sex, the pleasure of sex, the intimacy of sex, the intimate gender roles of sex… these are all created and designed to reflect the relationship of man with God.
Honouring creation
Sex (see above) honours the God of creation. One of the very first things that God said was, “It is not good that the man be alone”. And so he made him a woman. And they were both naked. And she became one flesh with him, and the mother of all living. Work it out.
Let us be very clear: the reproductive system was designed. There are thousands upon thousands of working parts, and when used as designed they honour their designer. When used not as designed… not so much. Not at all. Quite the contrary. They blaspheme against their creator.
Introduction/Conclusion
An ardent proponent of male-on-male sexual activity, in a series of obscene and blasphemous rants (to which I will not link), challenged me to lay out the Christian view of the importance of sex. He seemed most impressed with the idea that male-and-male sexual activity lowered violence levels among some species of ape. I think that my goals, and I’m sure that scriptures goals, for sexual activity rises somewhat above that.
Sex was designed by God. The male body, the female body… indeed the naked male body and the naked female body… was designed to ignite desire, which was designed to be used in a certain way, between certain people, and bring not only incredible joy, but a whole host of other results. We defy that design at our peril. We’ve seen that movie before.
References
I left the verses out of the above text, contrary to my usual habit, in order to make it more readable. For those who are unfamiliar with the passages that support the above points, please see:
Genesis 1-2
Genesis 9
Psalm 45
Psalms 127 and 128
Proverbs 5
The Song of Solomon
Malichi 2
Ephesians 5
I Corinthians 7
Amongst others. More available upon request.
Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!
Being ‘restacked’ and mentioned in ‘notes’ is very important for lesser-known stacks so… feel free! I’m semi-retired and write as a ministry (and for fun) so you don’t need to feel guilty you aren’t paying for anything, but if you enjoy my writing (even if you dramatically disagree with it), then restack, please! Or mention me in one of your own posts.
If I don’t write you back it is almost certain that I didn’t see it, so please feel free to comment and link to your post. Or if you just think I would be interested in your post!
If you get lost, check out my ‘Table of Contents’ which I try to keep up to date.
Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,
Von