Andi was busy washing dishes, her mind far away on an active negotiation she had had yesterday at the market which had ended up with her getting a rather good price on some peppers, when her mother walked in the room, cleared her throat, and abruptly said, “Andi, comest thou upstairs, please.”
Andi, startled, put down the dish she was washing, dried her hands and then followed her mother up the narrow stairs toward the bedroom she shared with her siblings in the loft, wondering what in the stars she had done to deserve this kind of confrontation. Her mother almost never just leapt into a conversation like this!
“Go play elsewhere,” her mother said when she pushed past the curtain and walked in the bedroom. The lasses already in the room, two of her siblings and three younger cousines, wide eyed, scampered out and her mother went and put the pile of books she was carrying over on Andreina's bed, a large bed in a small room. Then she sat down next to them.
“We need to talk, Darling. We won’t be long.”
Andreina let the curtain close and and stood facing her mother, willing herself to be calm. She hoped she at least looked calm. Her fingers itched to fiddle with the hem of her skirt, or her hair; both habits her mother had tried for years to break her of.
“I know that thou long been expecting this, darling, but it is time for thou to write thy marriage proposal.”
Andi nodded, unable to speak. Her comfortable childhood was about to end, and her great adventure of womanhood to begin. Or, at least, that is the way the pastor had put it in his sermon a couple of weeks ago. Her thoughts were a bit more down to earth. She and some lad…
“There are many, many things, Darling, thou must needs to decide about thy marriage proposal. The books I have brought thee will tell thee of them. However three of them are particularly important to the family, and so I wished to mention them.”
The first thing that thou must consider is ‘occupation’: whether thou art willing to marry a lad going for the the Army, the Navy, or perhaps thou hast some other occupation that thou dislikest. Merchant families frequently wish to keep things in their own occupation, but for most lasses they are largely concerned with the question of the Army or Navy. Most lasses find the idea of marrying someone in the Army hard, so are reluctant to do so. However a lad and his family who have need for him to go into the army will reject out of hand a proposal that does not at least include that as an option.”
Andreina nodded. It had never been stated, but she had long known that she was expected to leave herself open to marrying an army lad. Or, at the very least, a navy lad. Which, since she was street class, would probably mean a street class navy lad. Long hours, rough jobs and, from what she had heard, rough treatment for the wife. Allowed by contract.
“Now, darling, I will not ask thee for thine opinion but… some lasses… it is rather morbid, but some lasses like choosing an army lad hoping he will quickly die.Thou wouldst gain the death benefit and be available, again, for a new marriage, with its advantages.
“The next I will not speak much of. Living as we do I am sure thou know much of it, but thou must needs read the book through carefully before deciding on thy proposal. Tis hard to speak about but, The categories there are ‘fertile’, ‘willing’, and ‘fully fertile’… all of them euphemisms, of course, and involve many details and issues to be negotiated which you will read about. What thou choosest there will affect which other proposals thou willst match.”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Now, look thee, thou wilt have learnt this full well this but I’m going to say it anyway. Writing a marriage proposal is the first step in a full marriage contract. It lays out all of the details of your marriage and exchange. But thou art not being ‘sold’, nor is the lad. It is an agreement, a contract, a mutual exchange of obligations.
Write thy proposal carefully, to reflect what thou are absolutely willing to do. Thy lad will be promising to provide for thee, to give to thee an allowance for household affairs and engage in physical activities which we all hope will result in offspring and honor for the clan. And pleasure as well, if that is written in the contract.
But it is a contract first and foremost. Yes, good marriages often end up as far, far more than that… but they begin as a contract; agreed on by your fathers, enforced by the clan, for the honor of God and the clan and, hopefully, what happiness is possible for everyone concerned. A contract. Mutual obligations. Differernt for each but balanced. Even thy father and I will have obligations in thy contract.”
“There are other issues, but the books cover all of them, and your confidante will go over your proposal carefully before you bring it to me.”
“Now, I have said a mother’s part, and no doubt gone longer than I needed to. No lass wants her mother around for the discussion of intimate details, however much we might be ready to do so, and growing up street class thou wilst have heard all of this talked about. So I will leave and if thou hast any questions, thy cousine Aleshia stands ready to discuss things with thee. She was rather excited to be chosen, and knows that I am talking to thee this morning. And, of course, I have brought to thee these books, which will guide thee.”
“I trust I shall not need to bother her, Mother,” Andreina said. “I know she is busy with her household and her baby. I will concentrate myself on this task. But as regards the conditions… how much… how much lattitude do I have? I know the family has needs.”
There was a moment of silence. “I do not know, dear. We have been doing well, but I know that thy father has been rather counting on the exchange portion that thou wilt bring the family. I would advise thee to think carefully about thy proposal, to do all of thy research well and have a firm grasp on thy feelings. Then writest it down well.”
“Then when we present it to thy father we will see what he says. He loves thee, but he must also needs judge what is good for the family, so he cannot afford to be too lenient.”
Andreina gravely nodded, and her mother left. Andreina turned to the pile of books her mother had brought with her, sighed, and sat down on the bed. She leafed through the pile and finally decided on, “Writing a marriage proposal, A Lasses Guide to Janleen Clan Marriages” by Darlene Gregson. She opened it.
Then she sat for a minute with it open, and looked around the room. The very small room with the large bed she shared with all of her siblings. The one shelf with the few books that they owned.
She didn’t blame her father for wanting to better their condition, and she knew he was working hard on it. And, well, she had always known that her life would change when she married. With a good proposal she had a good chance of getting a shop class lad, and moving up… after their time was up.
Sighing, she looked back at the large pile of books she needed to get through and picked “Writing a Marriage Proposal,” back up…
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