Woodshed Discipleship
DISCIPLE, verb transitive
1. To teach; to train, or bring up.
2. To make disciples of; to convert to doctrines or principles.
This authority he employed in sending missionaries to disciple all nations.
Websters 1828
PA'RENT, noun [Latin parens, from pario, to produce or bring forth. The regular participle of pario is pariens, and parens is the regular participle of pareo, to appear.]
1. A father or mother; he or she that produces young. The duties of parents to their children are to maintain, protect and educate them.
When parents are wanting in authority, children are wanting in duty.
2. That which produces; cause; source.
Idleness is the parent of vice.
Regular industry is the parent of sobriety.
Websters 1828
When disciplining your children, or parenting, the woodshed system involves a whole series of principles. One set of principles summarises all the various actions of discipleship.
Let us start with the word ‘discipleship’. As I am using it here, ‘discipleship’ covers all of the activities that a godly parent uses when raising their children toward godliness; it isn't one part of the parenting process, it is a way of describing all of the parts.
Teaching
Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
TEACH, verb transitive preterit tense and participle passive taught. [Latin doceo; dico, dicto, and both these and the Gr. to show, may be of one family; all implying sending, passing, communicating, or rather leading, drawing.
1. To instruct; to inform; to communicate to another the knowledge of that of which he was before ignorant.
He will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths. Isaiah 2:3.
Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. Luke 11:1.
2. To deliver any doctrine, art, principles or words for instruction. One sect of ancient philosophers taught the doctrines of stoicism, another those of epicureanism.
In vain they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. Matthew 15:1.
3. To tell; to give intelligence.
4. To instruct, or to practice the business of an instructor; to use or follow the employment of a preceptor; as, a man teaches school for a livelihood.
5. To show; to exhibit so as to impress on the mind.
If some men teach wicked things, it must be that others may practice them.
6. To accustom; to make familiar.
They have taught their tongue to speak lies. Jeremiah 9:20.
7. To inform or admonish; to give previous notice to.
For he taught his disciples, and said--Mark 9:1.
8. To suggest to the mind.
For the Holy Spirit shall teach you in that same hour what ye ought to say. Luke 12:12.
9. To signify or give notice.
He teacheth with his fingers. Proverbs 6:13.
10. To counsel and direct. Habakkuk 2:19.
Websters 1828
We can further subdivide the parenting process into two parts, which I will call ‘positive’ and ‘negative’. The first aspect of the ‘positive’ process I'm going to call ‘teaching’. I am using the term teaching to refer to deliberate instruction largely in a verbal form and largely concerning theoretical and hypothetical issues
The discipleship process concerns the moral education of the child. So teaching here refers to deliberately imparting knowledge about moral issues. One can use the word ‘teach’ to refer to the entire process, but I am focusing it here on deliberate verbal instruction.
Training
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
TRAIN, verb transitive [Latin traho, to draw?]
1. To draw along.
In hollow cube he train'd
His devilish enginery.
2. Top draw; to entice; to allure.
If but twelve French
Were there in arms, they would be as a call
To train ten thousand English to their side.
3. To draw by artifice or stratagem.
O train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note.
4. To draw from act to act by persuasion or promise.
We did train him on.
5. To exercise; to discipline; to teach and form by practice; as, to train the militia to the manual exercise; to train soldiers to the use of arms and to tactics. Abram armed his trained servants. Genesis 14:14.
The warrior horse here bred he's taught to train
6. To break, tame and accustom to draw; as oxen.
7. In gardening, to lead or direct and form to a wall or espalier; to form to a proper shape by growth, lopping or pruning; as, to train young trees.
8. In mining, to trace a lode or any mineral appearance to its head.
To train or train up, to educate; to teach; to form by instruction or practice; to bring up.
TRAIN up a child in the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
The first christians were, by great hardships, trained
up for glory.
Websters 1828
Teaching is different than training. In training it is not words but actions that are the focus. So for example you could train a two year old to come by saying ‘come’ and then having someone lead the child across the room to the person who gave the command. Rinse and repeat until the action becomes instinctive.
Training can include a wide range of activities. The point being that they are consciously and purposely arranged, closely monitored, and become progressively more difficult and complex. The foundation of training is planning.
Many parents fail to recognise the difference between teaching and training, and as a result training only happens haphazardly and almost by accident. But training is one of the most effective ways of instilling moral behaviour. Far more effective than teaching or punishment.
Punishment
Pro 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Pro 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
PUN'ISH, verb transitive [Latin punio, from the root of poena, pain. The primary sense is to press or strain.]
1. To pain; to afflict with pain, loss or calamity for a crime or fault; primarily, to afflict with bodily pain, as to punish a thief with pillory or stripes; but the word is applied also to affliction by loss of property, by transportation, banishment, seclusion from society, etc. The laws require murderers to be punished with death. Other offenders are to be punished with fines, imprisonment, hard labor, etc. God punishes men for their sins with calamities personal and national.
2. To chastise; as, a father punishes his child for disobedience.
3. To regard with pain or suffering inflicted on the offender; applied to the crime; as, to punish murder or theft.
Websters 1828
Now we turn into the negative side of discipleship. The most obvious example/aspect of negative discipleship is punishment. The overwhelming majority of times went punishment should be used is when training has already been fully accomplished. It is the child who has been trained in a given activity, and has demonstrated proficiency and understanding, who should be punished for their failure to carry it out. The failure should be either willful or criminally negligent.
Pushing
2Samuel 23:10 He arose, and smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to spoil.
PUSH, verb transitive
1. To press against with force; to drive or impel by pressure; or to endeavor to drive by steady pressure, without striking; opposed to draw. We push a thing forward by force applied behind it; we draw by applying force before it. We may push without moving the object.
2. To butt; to strike with the end of the horns; to thrust the points of horns against.
If the ox shall push a man-servant or maid-servant--he shall be stones. Exodus 21:29.
3. To press or urge forward; as, to push an objection too far.
He forewarns his care
With rules to push his fortune or to bear.
4. To urge; to drive.
Ambition pushes the soul to such actions as are apt to procure honor to the actor.
5. To enforce; to press; to drive to a conclusion.
We are pushed for an answer.
6. To importune; to press with solicitation; to tease.
To push down, to overthrow by pushing or impulse.
Websters 1828
The other negative aspect of discipline I'm going to label pushing. Pushing is vitally important and dramatically missing in modern parenting. Pushing is used when the child is tired, angry, frustrated… whatever emotion or physical condition would lead the child to give up, or not try, or claim an exception. Their parent, in their infinite wisdom, says ‘No. You don't get to stop, or not try, or make an exception. The fact that you're tired, or hungry, or mad at your brother makes it all the more important that you keep going, or trying, or hold yourself to what you know is right.’
Modelling
Deuteronomy 27:9-10 And Moses and the priests the Levites spake unto all Israel, saying, Take heed, and hearken, O Israel; this day thou art become the people of the LORD thy God.
Thou shalt therefore obey the voice of the LORD thy God, and do his commandments and his statutes, which I command thee this day.
MODEL, noun mod'l. [Latin modulus, from modus.]
1. A pattern of something to be made; any thing of a particular form, shape or construction, intended for imitation; primarily, a small pattern; a form in miniature of something to be made on a larger scale; as the model of a building; the model of a fort.
2. A mold; something intended to give shape to castings.
3. Pattern; example; as, to form a government on the model of the British or American constitution.
4. Standard; that by which a thing is to be measured.
He that despairs, measures Providence by his own contracted model
5. In painting and sculpture, that which is to be copied or imitated; as the naked human form.
6. A pattern; any thing to be imitated. Take Cicero, lord Chatham or Burke, as a model of eloquence; take Washington as a model of prudence, integrity and patriotism; above all, let Christ be the model of our benevolence, humility, obedience and patience.
7. A copy; representation; something made in imitation of real life; as anatomical models, representing the parts of the body. General Pfiffer constructed a model of the mountainous parts of Switzerland.
MOD'EL, verb transitive To plan or form in a particular manner; to shape; to imitate in planning or forming; as, to model a house or a government; to model an edifice according to the plan delineated.
Websters 1828
EXAM'PLE, noun egzam'pl. [Latin e xemplum.]
1. A pattern; a copy; a mode; that which is proposed to be imitated. This word, when applied to material things, is now generally written sample, as a sample of cloth; but example is sometimes used.
2. A pattern, in morals or manners; a copy, or model; that which is proposed or is proper to be imitated.
I have given you an example that you should do as I have done to you. John 13:15.
Example is our preceptor before we can reason.
3. Precedent; a former instance. Buonaparte furnished many examples of successful bravery.
4. Precedent or former instance, in a bad sense, intended for caution.
Lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. Hebrews 4:11.
Sodom and Gomorrah--are set forth for an example suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. Jude 1:7.
5. A person fit to be proposed for a pattern; one whose conduct is worthy of imitation.
Be thou an example of the believers. 1 Timothy 4:12.
6. Precedent which disposes to imitation.
Example has more effect than precept.
7. Instance serving for illustration of a rule or precept; or a particular case or proposition illustrating a general rule, position or truth. The principles of trigonometry and the rules of grammar are illustrated by examples.
8. In logic, or rhetoric, the conclusion of one singular point from another; an induction of what may happen from what has happened. If civil war has produced calamities of a particular kind in one instance, it is inferred that it will produce like consequences in other cases. This is an example
EXAM'PLE, verb transitive To exemplify; to set an example [Not used.
Websters 1828
What about modelling? Modelling, or being an example, is outside of the discipleship framework, not because it is unimportant, but because it is non-specific. If modelling is being used in a specific situation then it is part of training. Occasionally it might be part of teaching. But the regular modelling that goes on daily, while very important, I am not addressing here because the parent is not doing it in direct response to a specific situation with a specific child.
Conclusion
Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
Malachi 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve theLORD.
GOD'LINESS, noun [from godly.] Piety; belief in God, and reverence for his character and laws.
1. A religious life; a careful observance of the laws of God and performance of religious duties, proceeding from love and reverence for the divine character and commands; christian obedience.
Godliness is profitable unto all things. 1 Timothy 4:7.
2. Revelation; the system of christianity.
Without controversy, great is the mystery of godliness;
God was manifest in the flesh. l Tim.3.
Websters 1828
All too often we talk about various aspects of the parenting process without putting it all together. And all too often, one or another part is emphasised, and others ignored, to the detriment of good discipleship. But good parenting involves all four of these aspects of discipleship, and we ignore them to our peril.
It could be argued that God gives us no greater responsibility than raising our children in Godliness. The Scriptures are full of wisdom for accomplishing that task. As are our grandparents. The worst parents I have ever seen (judging by their fruit) were those who listened to no one, asked advice of no one and, above all, ignored Scripture’s clear admonitions.
The term ‘woodshed parenting’ comes from my letter exchange with
. While we were having our discussion (which I hope will start up again sometime) I never took the opportunity to lay out what you might call the ‘whole sweep’ of Woodshed Parenting, so I took this opportunity. I’m open to others continuing the discussion, by the way, so feel free to comment/link/tag etc.Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!
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Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,
Von
Links
Parenting Discussion
and I are having a fun discussion about parenting. She is an advocate of ‘Gentle Parenting’, so I called my philosophy ‘Woodshed Parenting’ for contrast.
Woodshed Parenting: Laying out some of the foundations of proper parenting.
Learning in Silence: An exegesis and defence of ‘Children Should be Seen and not Heard’.
Upside Down Discipline: The woodshed creates tough, moral children.
Not in the discussion, but related: