Trade Master
Contract Marriage #1
Fenstra was nervous, which was silly. The worst thing that could happen at this meeting was that she would be sent back to her own department, having been told she was not eligible for the posting. But she had read the list over twice and she fulfilled all of the qualifications! Some of them only just, but for some of them, she was almost overqualified.
She took another look at the mirror in the beauty room and took a deep breath. Her dress… she had spent a lot of time trying to decide which dress to wear, and this bright but not too bright blue dress with the darker blue accent had seemed just right for the combination of attraction and attention for duty that was the continual struggle for all women working in an office with men. Dealing with the women was worse but right now she had a hold with a man.
She reached up to her company cap and moved it just a touch to the left. She didn’t exactly like the cap, but its colours did go with her dress, and it wasn’t ugly anyway.
She left the beauty room and strode purposely toward the office of Supervisor Trestin, nomination supervisor. He was reckoned to be a nice man, always helpful… which his job made easy. He wasn’t the one who had to turn you down, typically, and when he did it was always because you, yourself, had failed to read the qualifications for the nomination you were looking for. He was also reputed to be a rather boring but pleasant date, but she wasn’t worried about that right now. Hopefully never, as she would hopefully succeed at her current endeavour and would be exo for at least the next ten years.
She opened the door to his outer office, and his secretary, Cit Juaa Medani, looked up at her. They had seen each other in the lunch room a couple of times, but not often enough that she expected to have her know her name. She was dressed in a plain, utilitarian dress that emphasised her efficiency, not beauty. Which fit her position perfectly. A reputation of coming on would not be an advantage to a personal secretary.
“Can I help you?” Cit Medani asked, giving the quick head nod with a right to left-hand swipe that meant ‘helpful but busy’.
“I… I am Cit Fenstra Drendin,” she said, bowing back ‘business at hand’, which was rather similar except for a deeper bow and a slower, longer hand swipe, “and I put a hold on Supervisor Trestin for this hour.”
“Ah, yes. All in order. Sit for a moment, I think your hour is not yet.”
“Yes, thank you, Cit.”
Fenstra sat down, folded her hands, unfolded her hands, and then min-opened her wrist-comp, with one small screen appearing before her . She clicked on her ‘business’ tab, and the screen changed to ‘priv’ mode, which was standard for all work screens. She opened her latest proposal. Maybe she could get a few minutes of work in while she waited.
But instead she was distracted by the office and the secretary. If she succeeded she would… well, no. She would have neither office nor secretary, at least not a secretary that sat in an outer office scheduling holds. But she would have better… A position as Trade Master and as supervisor for all of the contract employees on all of Libertas! Not that there were that many… and would get to do the bulk of her work in a gorgeous house… in her pyjamas if she wished!
Supervisor Trentin had obviously worked hard at his office decor. All of the walls were done up with… she sniffed… yes, it was aromatic Tartaraa wood… that beautiful light red and that soothing smell. And the planks practically looked had hewn. The whole effect was to introduce a very archaic and calming feel. Which was probably helpful, but she was still nervous.
She tried to force herself back to work but all she had done was stare at the introductory page of the proposal she was working on, not even scrolling down as her eyes kept reading the text but her brain refused to process it.
“Cit Fenstra, the supervisor is ready for you now.”
“Thank you, Cit Juaa,” Fenstra said and, closing her wristcomp went through the door into the office. The inner office, which was done up in the same way as the outer, and even had an archaic fireplace!
“Cit Fenstra,” the supervisor said, rising and bowing ‘willingness to help’ and waving her to a seat. “I don’t believe we have met before?”
“No, Supervisor,” she said, bowing back gratitude-for-helpfulness. “Perhaps at an office party, but, no, I don’t recall.”
“Very good, very good. Well, in anticipation of your hold, I reviewed your stats. You have been doing very well. I assume you are here in reference to some opening?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Well, let us hope you are successful. Which posting were you thinking of?”
“I am requesting a nomination for our Trade Master for Libertas.”
She held her breath and watched him. His face fell, and Fenstra’s heart followed it. Did he think she wasn’t qualified? Was someone else before her? She had reacted so quickly after she had seen the posting!”
“Oh, dear me,” he said when he saw her reaction, “I am so sorry. I need to learn to keep my emotions to myself. Quite unprofessional of me. But, I do need to ask, have you researched the… ummm… the culture and laws of Libertas?”
Fenstra was very confused. “No, Cit. Why… I thought I would do that if I gained the nomination. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise that was a prerequisite for a hold.”
“Oh, no, it isn’t! Not at all! You are quite right. And for almost any other posting, I would never have even asked such a question. But Libertas is… well, it is an extremely challenging posting. Our last postee escaped just ahead of an order for his execution.”
“What?”
“Yes. And you will be able to read his entire story, but… let me restart this hold. I have not at all been appropriate; you surprised me.”
“Let me reassure you that, from what I have seen of your stats, you are fully qualified for this posting. And I believe that should you decide to take the posting, it would be perfect for your career. Even if you decide never to leave this posting, it should be very remunerative.”
“Now, there are two things that stand in your way. The first is that there is a mandatory, and in this case, red-letter, briefing and response before you can take this posting. I will snip you the routing for the briefer. If after… and I do stress after… you have a chance to receive the briefing and fully process it, which in this case will require at least a twenty-four hour meditation period; only then may you accept the posting.”
“Have no fear you are first in line, however, and nothing in the scheduling or meditation period will put you out of line. Even if someone else were to come with a hold in the next ten minutes, you would still have priority. Now, do you have any more questions?”
She stared at him, and he looked back, concern evident in his eyes. “I… I don’t think so. The job itself… There are no… There is nothing about it that is not on the posting?”
“Nothing at all, I quite assure you. Except for the mandatory briefing and meditation, which I have told you about, but I chose, perhaps foolishly, not to put on the public posting, there is nothing. The salary, benefits, requirements… they are all there. Indeed, except for the rather difficult requirements of the Libertas laws, this is one of our nicer postings. Far better than your current assignment.”
She stood. “Well, then, no. I will make a hold with the briefer and sit through the required meditation period and get back to you.”
He stood again and gave a slower bow, which she read as ‘hopeful success’. “I’m sorry I was so inept,” he said, “And please, do not merely ‘sit through’ the meditation period, but give it your full thought. This is a marvellous opportunity in some ways, but in others, well, your briefing will give you the other side.”
She bowed her leave and wandered in a daze out of the room and hardly made it to the hallway when she felt her wrist-comp vibrate. She leaned up against the corridor wall, took it out, and saw the snip. She took a couple of deep breaths and punched it.
She put her comp away but was only a few steps further down the aisle when her comp buzzed again:
Hold: Exo-planet briefing: Libertas: 1340 today: Room 412. Briefer: Alex Jensen
She looked at the clock on her wristcomp. 1330. Ten minutes.
She took another deep breath and turned to the stairs. Walking up would do her good.
Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!
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Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,
Von
Links
Contract Marriage Intro
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
En-drek Contract
Contract marriage is an adult dystopia examining the issues of marriage. Like 1984 and Brave New World, Contract Marriage treats the relations between the sexes as a fundamental aspect of how a society is formed and, thus, how a society can go wrong.
Disappointment and Meditation
Contract marriage is an adult dystopia examining the issues of marriage. Like 1984 and Brave New World, Contract Marriage treats the relations between the sexes as a fundamental aspect of how a society is formed and, thus, how a society can go wrong.
I would like to give credit for the genesis of many of these ideas to the Liaden series by Mr. and Mrs. Steve Miller, which is available for free on the web. They do a great deal of cultural exploration, although they rather dramatically skip the moral exploration. (And their math doesn’t work.)
Other concepts were taken, in one form and another, from the book Freehold by Michael A Williamson.
Okay, I’ve made some time to give this another proper look with my eye on critique. First off I’ll say, I won’t try to copy yours. Sorry I’m not that person. I wouldn’t know how to begin to critique plot or characterization or grammar and writing for anything worthwhile. I’m simply not experienced enough. But I’ll give you my opinion on what I liked and didn’t and how I think this thing could improve.
First off, it’s a pretty good hook. Not much action, but I wanted more of the story by the end. I immediately wondered about this world and how it works and why getting this job was so important to Fenstra and what it entails...
Secondly, one small criticism—I think you focus way to much on fashion. You could stand to add a detail or two about hair color or features. Specially with the beauty room setting, it would fit. Even if it isn’t important to the story, a woman notices such things. It would make her seem more real. Looking at oneself in the mirror is the perfect opportunity for that. It would also give an indication of her age, which only becomes apparent at chapter 3 (I think) and even then is ambiguous.
Since you say you’re not so great at description, I feel I should offer some suggestions—she could maybe lament the lines around her eyes, or a grey hair or two poking through, or at least give some indication of hair color or complexion.
As it is, Fenstra could be twenty or fifty here, she could have crooked teeth or warts on her nose or blue or green spikey or curly or flat hair there’s no way to tell. And it would suit the scene to add it. She could pay attention to the other woman’s look and compare herself to her at least a little, in ways other than their choice of dress. What you do say, hints at respect at least so that’s something.
Third, for all the work you’ve done worldbuilding, (and I see it—wow) this scene comes across as grey and generic. The only color I see is in the clothing. There’s not much to ground the reader in the setting. The choice of decor with sensory detail you showed in one of your replies I got somewhere, could really enhance the setting and ground the conversation, though it could do with a polish if you do decide to incorporate anything permanent.
Fourth, as I said before—I like the dialogue. It showcases the characters quite well. Between Fenstra and Juaa, it’s formal and functional and perfectly appropriate. Between Fenstra and the supervisor it’s awesome.
I get the image of a bubbly, slightly older gentleman, but again, some indication of his looks would be helpful. Maybe haircut, or build or attire. Women notice.
Lastly, I want to compliment you on your glossary links. That’s an awesome idea and they do work, but if you’ll allow me to show off a little—If I was going to do a glossary I would style each word as a heading within the glossary post so you can link to it directly instead of making the reader scroll through the whole thing to find that specific word that they are looking for.
I know, I know. That’s a WHOLE LOT of work. Especially now but maybe something to keep in mind if you ever start a new glossary for a new project. It’s just one of those user experience things, not at all important. And very much a smarty-pants young person kind of request.🫢Most people wouldn’t even notice or care. The fact that there’s a glossary at all is great, and the way you linked to it throughout is awesome. It must have been a ton of work and shows real dedication. It’s just that I know it can be done… Never mind forget I said anything. I might just delete this part of my comment.
Okay that’s it. MY version of a critique… I’m curious about your opinion on my opinion. Maybe we can do this again sometime.
Interesting. I'll have to give this one some thought.