While I would not consider three a lot of kids, it is fairly uncommon where I live, and it is quite interesting to watch the differences in our relationship compared to many of our friends and my coworkers.
The trust is absolutely key, but I think it misses the flipside, which is the added gratitude and respect. I could not do what my wife does, and am extremely grateful for her sacrifice. She in turn demonstrates immense gratitude for my willingness to leave the house and family, working to make sure all the needs are met. Trust is required, but it pays massive dividends.
I will point out that I have a cousin and a friend where this applies, but the roles are reversed. She works, he takes care of the home. This seems to work well for both of them, given their dispositions. Both of the females are Type A personalities, and both married men who are far more nurturing and patient than I suspect you would find in the average American male. I am not sure that set up would work for plenty of couples, but for some, the flexibility seems to be a boon for them.
I'd be interested in seeing how you fit 'gratitude and respect' into the paradigm. Do you see it as something you need *before* you enter into a SILK relationship, or something that comes down the pike afterward.
I suspect that yes, gratitude and respect are prerequisites to a successful marriage, but that it becomes a virtuous feedback loop. The need for trust and mutual support increases gratitude and respect, which in turn increases trust, and on and on it goes.
While I disagree, rather profoundly, with the 'stay at home dad' phenomenon, I would be very interested to know if either of these men you know fall into the SILK category... ie do they have 'lots of kids'? Three? Six? Eight?
I tend to think that the arrangement would not work that well for a large majority of couples, but that for certain people, given their unique attributes, strengths, weaknesses and other personality traits, it can work for some. It does seem to raise a lot of eyebrows, however.
While I would not consider three a lot of kids, it is fairly uncommon where I live, and it is quite interesting to watch the differences in our relationship compared to many of our friends and my coworkers.
The trust is absolutely key, but I think it misses the flipside, which is the added gratitude and respect. I could not do what my wife does, and am extremely grateful for her sacrifice. She in turn demonstrates immense gratitude for my willingness to leave the house and family, working to make sure all the needs are met. Trust is required, but it pays massive dividends.
I will point out that I have a cousin and a friend where this applies, but the roles are reversed. She works, he takes care of the home. This seems to work well for both of them, given their dispositions. Both of the females are Type A personalities, and both married men who are far more nurturing and patient than I suspect you would find in the average American male. I am not sure that set up would work for plenty of couples, but for some, the flexibility seems to be a boon for them.
I'd be interested in seeing how you fit 'gratitude and respect' into the paradigm. Do you see it as something you need *before* you enter into a SILK relationship, or something that comes down the pike afterward.
I suspect that yes, gratitude and respect are prerequisites to a successful marriage, but that it becomes a virtuous feedback loop. The need for trust and mutual support increases gratitude and respect, which in turn increases trust, and on and on it goes.
While I disagree, rather profoundly, with the 'stay at home dad' phenomenon, I would be very interested to know if either of these men you know fall into the SILK category... ie do they have 'lots of kids'? Three? Six? Eight?
One has five, with a sixth on the way. The other has three (through fertility, due to health complications) and have now adopted an additional two.
I tend to think that the arrangement would not work that well for a large majority of couples, but that for certain people, given their unique attributes, strengths, weaknesses and other personality traits, it can work for some. It does seem to raise a lot of eyebrows, however.
Single income and two kids.
SITK :)