My wife “ran away” multiple times, and I attributed it to “mental illness” (morally neutral), before I diagnosed the real problem. I never required submission - I was always on treadmill trying to run down and catch her mental wellbeing. And obviously, you don’t go anywhere on a treadmill.
Once this became clear I drew a boundary and told her, “I will not chase after you if you cross this line.” And she crossed the line. And she did not understand why I enforced the consequence. She forgot the past. Sometimes she even stated, “let’s forget the past.” She was addicted to the idea that I would rescue her - from herself.
Struggling with idolatry, which is to say that my intellect and temperament continuously tempt me to play savior at the expense of my obedience. I know I am not God - but can’t I just play savior this once? No, I cannot.
It’s not. Not doing, that is. There was a boundary set, it was crossed, then there was a consequence, then there was FINALLY a willingness to submit to church authority, but then non-compliance, followed involuntary hospitalization (3 months). After all that (and more), the response still was “you did this to me” and “you need to do more.” We had no children together. I was a father to her daughter. It finally became clear to me, that deep in, that like Lot, I had to go on to the town of refuge because my wife had turned into a pillar of salt.
My wife “ran away” multiple times, and I attributed it to “mental illness” (morally neutral), before I diagnosed the real problem. I never required submission - I was always on treadmill trying to run down and catch her mental wellbeing. And obviously, you don’t go anywhere on a treadmill.
Once this became clear I drew a boundary and told her, “I will not chase after you if you cross this line.” And she crossed the line. And she did not understand why I enforced the consequence. She forgot the past. Sometimes she even stated, “let’s forget the past.” She was addicted to the idea that I would rescue her - from herself.
So how are you doing now?
Struggling with idolatry, which is to say that my intellect and temperament continuously tempt me to play savior at the expense of my obedience. I know I am not God - but can’t I just play savior this once? No, I cannot.
Interesting. And how is your marriage doing?
It’s not. Not doing, that is. There was a boundary set, it was crossed, then there was a consequence, then there was FINALLY a willingness to submit to church authority, but then non-compliance, followed involuntary hospitalization (3 months). After all that (and more), the response still was “you did this to me” and “you need to do more.” We had no children together. I was a father to her daughter. It finally became clear to me, that deep in, that like Lot, I had to go on to the town of refuge because my wife had turned into a pillar of salt.