14 Comments

Interesting characters, and very nice flow- I find myself disappointed this post ended so quickly. Looking forward to more.

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Clever boy. Give her a task that she can work towards, one that is in her skill set, and a target that would get her close to the standard she is accustomed to. And one she can probably sell her father on.

Even without him giving money, the Governor must Know People. And probably even knows people who Know People. And have the influence to help him reach the upper levels.

Even so, the Hero comes across as a bit glib, and too pat with his answers.

I know that everyone in the story speaks in a rather stylized way, but something seems off about him.

Is his humming a plot point or merely a personal trait?

I'm caught up again. 🙂

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Oh, and it seems that twins/triplets are far more common in this universe than in ours?

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Apr 19Author

Far, far. There even is a reason for it :)

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Apr 19Author

The genetic correction of '67:

A group of scientists, , discovered a genetic ‘correction’ which eliminated many still births and miscarriages. As an unintended consequence it also dramatically increased the numbers of twins and triplets being brought to term, these becoming the norm.

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Apr 19Author

So, overall are you liking the story... or forcing yourself to read it? I haven't done much with yours because I have been super busy. I have a book coming out soon.

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I've been enjoying the characters and how they interact with each other. Like I said before, the dance just seemed to go on and on, but that may just be the result of reading it a little at a time.

I think the dictator is probably a tyrant, and the government seems to be a bunch of busy-bodies. However, I don't think I'm supposed to like them. 😉

All in all, I'm enjoying it.

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And I wouldn't be replying to your replies if I weren't having fun.

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“My twin had genetic abnormalities and aborted at three months!”

Welp. I knew something was off with this society.

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author
Oct 9Author

So is this disappointing to you?

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I suppose so, haha. I did kind of like the society, despite it being a military dictatorship. I'm not so sure anymore. That said, it does make sense that a society so eugenically minded would abort their kids.

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Oct 9Author

Oh wow! You totally misread that scene. I guess I’ll have to rewrite it to make it clear. The word aborted in this case means died naturally and came out.

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Oh ok. Gotcha, haha.

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Oct 9Author

Edit in.

Thanks for reading the story. Feel free to comment on ways it can be improved.

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