Biblical Sex

Why on Earth should we have sex? No, literally. Why, here on Earth, in our current sinful condition, do we have sexual intercourse. Kissing and… ummm… everything? Does it have a point? Does it have several?? Does God say???

Introduction

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

This post comes as a response to a post entitled ‘Catholic vs Evangelical Sex’. Which seems like a bit of clickbait, eh? But the actual post was not about how Catholics vs Evangelicals actually have sex… but what they write about how you should have it. The author, a Catholic, found some evangelical books on sex and, being shocked by what she read, did some quick compare/contrast between various popular books.

Then she and I had a bit of a back and forth on the subject and I agreed to write a post not on the Evangelical, or still less the Catholic, idea of what sex should be about, but what God says about it. In the Bible.

This post is not meant to be my arguments for these points, but the points themselves and the Scriptures (some of the Scriptures) on these points.

Note: This is my second post on this exact subject, but the first one was more general and not in specific answer to the Catholic/Evangelical issue. In neither post do I address such interesting issues such as sexual position or frequency. So if that’s what you think this is about, sorry.

Creator

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Genesis 1:26-18

Now the first thing that God says about sex is that He created it. He doesn’t get all graphic about it, but even the first couple of chapters of Genesis make it clear that He is the creator of sex. As well as everything else.

This is the foundation for any Biblical view of sex. It was given by the Creator, it is not ours to fool around with (pun intended). We don’t get to reinvent it, or try to bring it ‘up to date’.

Children and Seed Spilling

And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

—

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

—

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Genesis 38:8-10; Psalm 127:3-5; Malachi 2:14-15

Sex was designed for the conception of children. It is not limited to that, but avoiding that is forbidden and a really, really bad idea. Both the Catholic and the protestant churches used to agree on that, and neither Catholic or protestant parishioners pay it much attention nowadays. But it is what the Scriptures clearly teach.

Dominion

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18.20-21

Sex was designed as part of the dominion mandate. Not only ‘make children’, but ‘make lots of children who do God’s will all over the world’. This idea has been literally turned on its head by modern thinkers: with headless chickens running around complaining about ‘overpopulation’.

Pleasure

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.

Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

—

How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.

Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.

Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.

How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

Song 1:2-4, 7:1-10

Sex is ‘intended for pleasure’. That was not its original goal, but it is definitely part of the system.

Fornication

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

—

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Exodus 22:16-17, I Corinthians 7:2

Sex between unmarried people is forbidden. However the solution is not to stop having sex, but to marry.

Now, let’s be very clear: the word ‘fornication’ here does not just mean sex between unmarried people. In the NT Greek it means all manner of sexual sins. And the solution, in the Scriptures, is marriage. Sex in marriage.

Continual

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.

His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.

He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

Proverbs 5:15-23

Scripture makes it clear that sex is not optional. Sex is required. A lot of sex.

There is exactly two exceptions listed in Scripture. First: a couple who, with agreement between both of them, for a short time, for the purposes of fasting and prayer, agree to sexually abstain. And then they come together again quickly afterwards.

What is not permitted is ‘not in the mood’, ‘I”m angry at you’, or ‘its a bad time of month, we might make a kid!”. (Note: The other ‘bad time of month’ is specifically mentioned as an exception as well.)

Church Leaders

This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless,

the husband of one wife,

vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

I Timothy 3:1-13

Scripture makes it very clear that church leaders should be having sex. At least those who are called ‘elders’ (bishops) and ‘deacons’; those who are running the local churches. Church leaders are to be judged on their children and how their family is doing. Which implies sex. Lots of fruitful sex. And, of course, church leaders need to be at the forefront of the Biblical commands in this area.

Forbidding

And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

And if a man lie with his daughter in law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have wrought confusion; their blood shall be upon them.

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

—

Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Leviticus 20:11-13; Romans 1:24-27

Scripture makes it very clear that several forms of sex are forbidden. To keep this PG rated, let us state merely that any sex outside of a man and a woman inside of the relationship of marriage is forbidden. This includes lots of things that our world thinks is OK.

What is also forbidden is, umm, forbidding. It is forbidden to forbid from marriage, and it is forbidden from forbidding married couples to, umm, do their thing.

Duty

If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

—

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Exodus 21:10; I Cor 7:2-5

Sex is not optional. For either husband or wife. It is a duty.

Not only is sex a duty, but the various aspects are a duty. It is literally a duty to have pleasure in sex. To seek pleasure in sex. It is a duty to seek children. It is a duty to avoid sexual sin by having sex.

Metaphor

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

—

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine.

Ephesians 5:23-26; Ezekiel 16:8

Sex is part of the metaphors of Christ and the Church, of God and Israel. Which means that how we handle sex is also part of that metaphor.

Conclusion

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:4-6

This post is NOT meant to be the final word on this subject. It is meant to be the first word, the beginning of the discussion, the beginning of discovery. This post is limited to what the Scriptures say, and makes no reference whatsoever to any church document, Catholic or protestant, has to say on the subject.

The references given here, as well, are not the end of the subject but the beginning. Many, many more references could be given. Some links are given in the text that point to other posts on the subject.

---

Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!

Being ‘restacked’ and mentioned in ‘notes’ is very important for lesser-known stacks so… feel free! I’m semi-retired and write as a ministry (and for fun) so you don’t need to feel guilty you aren’t paying for anything, but if you enjoy my writing (even if you dramatically disagree with it), then restack, please! Or mention me in one of your own posts.

If I don’t write you back it is almost certain that I didn’t see it, so please feel free to comment and link to your post. Or if you just think I would be interested in your post!

If you get lost, check out my ‘Table of Contents’ which I try to keep up to date.

Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,

Von