I liked this section, especially that you make it obvious they are cutting in line (with everyone else's permission), but somehow Illoia is innocent enough to not realize it. 🙂
Once again, we see the holograms, and also AI.
I'm trying to decide. Having a description of the and undergarments is handy, but is it strictly necessary at this time to list all their functions? It seems to slow down the story somewhat. Obviously at least some of the functions need to be described before she needs them (she will need them, right), but maybe gloss over them a bit more here, and describe when she takes her sim?
So, what I'm trying to do with them is at least two fold:
1) Make it clear how much her life is changing. Like, wait, what? I am supposed to wear this at all times? When doing everything? Like total life change.
2) Get a bit of sci-fi in here. I've always wondered how, with their super advanced tech, Star Trek heroes can get stabbed. I mean, can't you even make a suit that will stop knife blades? We can do that now!
Mind you it shouldn’t be actual seatbelts. They should have some kind of high-tech gravity thing that helps keep them in their chair. And then course it could fail and they could go floating off and that would be cool too.
I liked this section, especially that you make it obvious they are cutting in line (with everyone else's permission), but somehow Illoia is innocent enough to not realize it. 🙂
Once again, we see the holograms, and also AI.
I'm trying to decide. Having a description of the and undergarments is handy, but is it strictly necessary at this time to list all their functions? It seems to slow down the story somewhat. Obviously at least some of the functions need to be described before she needs them (she will need them, right), but maybe gloss over them a bit more here, and describe when she takes her sim?
So, what I'm trying to do with them is at least two fold:
1) Make it clear how much her life is changing. Like, wait, what? I am supposed to wear this at all times? When doing everything? Like total life change.
2) Get a bit of sci-fi in here. I've always wondered how, with their super advanced tech, Star Trek heroes can get stabbed. I mean, can't you even make a suit that will stop knife blades? We can do that now!
When will they put seat belts on the Enterprise?
I know right. They have the littlest bump and everybody falls out of their chairs and can’t manage to do their job.
Mind you it shouldn’t be actual seatbelts. They should have some kind of high-tech gravity thing that helps keep them in their chair. And then course it could fail and they could go floating off and that would be cool too.
And somebody could say we should’ve just put on seatbelts.
That said, it doesn't have to come out in this scene per se.