Middy's got a Lass!

Medinia practically skipped down the hallway. She had a husband! 

She glanced at him. He was tall and stout. Hopefully their children would get the tall, anyway. And perhaps they wouldn’t even be stout; she had seen it happen.

But she had a husband! Her father would be relieved, her mother would be ecstatic, and her siblings would all be happy for her.

And such a husband! He never had tapped her on the shoulder, he hadn’t bothered asking her guardian… who wouldn’t have raised the slightest objection!

She had a husband!

She leaned on his arm and watched the corridor go by, the bright metal corridor… ugly, but no thing could dim her mood. They finished that corridor, and went down a very narrow stairway, and started another. At one of the doorways they passed a lad was standing. He watched them come up.

“So, you grabbed one.” He said.

“I did,” her husband said, pulling her forward with his hand squeezing her backside.

“Looks like she might be able to handle you. Looks happy enough.”

“Grabbed her off the wall, I did, and didn’t give her a chance to get unhappy. Now I’m going to go make her happier.”

The lad grinned and Medinia blushed… and grinned. Still squeezing her her husband pushed her through the doorway that he slapped open with his hand on the wall.

She would have stopped and stared but her husband didn’t let, pushing her forward into a room filled with children. Children, a few lads chasing them around and generally getting them riled up, and a couple of lasses nursing babes on beds.

“Middy’s got a lass!” One of the lads shouted, and everyone looked at them.

“I sure do,” her husband said. “Now if you will get out of our bed I’ve got work to do.”

The lad, who had been sitting on a bed reading to a few littlies, got up with a grin while Medinia stared. It was a low bed, the bottom of a bunk. It was made of metal, as everything here did, and had a slick mattress with a few sheets and blankets on it. It was wide enough for a whole family, and…

“But, first, here are my two,” her husband said, and led her over to one of the nursing mothers. There was a chunky lad baby on her breast, and another sleeping next to her. “You’ll be feeding them yourself, soon,” her husband said. “One reason I needed a wife. Hard to get wet nurses, as willing as the lasses are.”

Medinia stared down at the nursing babe, who eyed her curiously. He had the mottled red and blond hair of a New Irish, and his eye was bright.

“How long ago did his mother die?” She asked.

“Their mother died two months ago,” her husband said. “Didn’t wake up one morning. Medic said it was a weak vessel in the brain, just kind of exploded. Best wife in all the world. I’m sure you’ll do as well, though,” he added, hastily.

“I’m sure she was,” Medinia said, a bit sobered. “And I’ll try my best.

“Well, we’re off to bed now,” her husband said, “Then we’ll come and get them.”

She blushed but very willingly allowed him to lead her off to the bed. She blushed at the idea of all of these people knowing she was going to bed with her husband for the first time, but even more at the lack of privacy.

But once they were both in her husband reach up and pulled a slider down, and suddenly they were alone. Both sides of the bed had suddenly turned into a shimmering curtain of light. Then he typed something into a small control screen, and those two walls, the other two walls, and almost all of the ceiling disappeared, to be replaced by a scene of a meadow, with sheep grazing nearby, and mountains not far away. A few seconds later she could even hear the sounds, and feel a breeze, and smell…

“How do that?” She asked.

“Some trick,” he said. “It’s not a real smell, the navy people would kills us if we put smells in the air. But there’s some electronic tricks that make you think that you are smelling it.

“Oh,” she said. “I’ve seem something like this, but never in a space this small.”

“Navy puts out special for it. They know that too long in a cramped space like this will drive men crazy.”

He watched her look around, and then, a grin on his face said, “And now to business! Tell me about yourself.”

---

Our Story so Far:

Illoia, the smart, snobby, social, daughter of the local sector governor, was returning home on a spaceship when she and all of the other unmarried lasses on board were informed that their attendance was required at an Article 17 dance: a social event designed to get wives for unmarried soldiers. She was shocked to be chosen by Tom, Leader Cladin Tomirosh, a thrice-decorated hero on his way, along with the other soldiers, to the front lines.

She found him socially inept, brash, annoyingly forward… and he hums all the time. She found the event nerve wracking, with wild dances and immodest ones. Throughout it all she tried to be as rude as possible to the young hero, but by the end of the evening she found herself married to him!

Meanwhile two other leaders, one Mid-ranker, and seemingly dozens of other soldiers also found themselves wives. Indeed by the end of the dance there were no wallflowers. Even the short, stout, excited lass got herself snapped up.

Characters: Leader Cladin Tomirosh (Tom): Socially inept, thrice decorated hero, hums all the time, dances poorly.

Illoia su-Tareno: Govenors daughter, socially ept, snobby, very bright.

Aleshia: Illoia’s friend whose father is ‘disgustingly rich’.

Leader Eukles Ellin: A leader, like Tom, but not so heroic.

Eudoria: The daughter of an upper class merchant (whose father isn’t so rich as they make out), chosen by Euckles.

Meriones: A leader like Tom, New Irish and rather proud of it.

Marja su-Fensta: Meriones lass, still smarting from the swat on the backside he gave her by way of introduction, but thrilled to get a husband.

Medinia: A short, stout lass whose father is well off but was finding her difficult to place.

Vocabulary: 

The Articles: Some sort of laws (more later :) )

Silent Code: A ‘law’ that was never officially stated but which everyone understands.

Ash: The dictators secret police.

Lad: Man/Young man 

Lass: Woman/Young woman

Littlie: Child 

Guardian: A man chosen by a father to stand in for the father during a trip or the like in questions of marriage, finance, etc. Able to make decisions that normally only the father could make.

Consented wife(husband): When a woman and her guardian have both given consent to a marriage, but it has not yet been officially registered. Much more serious than ‘engagement’, if the husband died the wife would get benefits/inheritance etc.

(Draftee, Recruit, Ranker), Mid-ranker, Top-ranker, Leader, Sub-commander, Commander, Staff major: Military ranks listed in order of rank (ie a commander outranks a sub-commander etc.

Hero: a military (or civilian) man whose honour(s) are more important than his rank.

Cousine(s): Female cousin(s)

Su-, -a, -ana: additions to a persons last name to indicate the relationship. 

Su-: daughter of

-A: wife of

-Ana: (great)grandchild of

Setting: A Star Liner jointly run by the navy and a civilian company (the company owns the ship, the navy staffs it, its passengers are both civilians taking trips from planet to planet and military on their way to/from assignments. It is very spartan, with some luxuries, and slightly bigger compartments for the (first class) civilian passengers. Everything made out of metal, no perfumes etc allowed, rigid divisions on where people are allowed to go.

Government: A military dictatorship in the middle of an enormous war against aliens.

Culture: A bit reminiscent of Napoleon era Britain. Formerly an aristocracy, the dictatorship has changed things up.

---

Want to help the story?

Critique Notes:

I am looking for Story Level notes, not spelling, grammar, punctuation. As far as issues of age, audience, etc. I would like to hear your comments on who you think would enjoy this story, but nothing about what publishers would think as far as age/audience appropriate. I write because I enjoy writing and want to tell the story, not to try to fit in a certain slot.

I am not totally happy with the next few sections. They are the backside of a real turning point in the story, and there are a lot of very important issues that I want to deal with, but I am struggling with keeping the tension of the story going as Illoia shifts her focus; going from trying to get rid of this man to dealing with her new life in the army and the lower class but with a hero husband.

Culture: It is designed to be different: in word choice, food, relations between the sexes, military ranks and roles, in pretty much every way from  modern American culture. I wish it to be shocking and at times offensive, but comprehensible.

Language: The word choice in the story is meant to add to the world building that comes first of all from the culture. I don’t think I am done adjusting the words, but so far you should be getting the words ‘lad’ and ‘lass’; ‘ranker, mid-ranker (middy), leader, commander, sub-commander, staff-major’; and ‘The Articles’ or ‘Article 9’ etc. Please point if I make a mistake and use ‘woman’ or ‘girl’ or ‘man’ or ‘boy’.

Characters: How are you enjoying the characters? Are they making sense in the culture I have put them in? Do they ever drift from where they were in earlier sections without reason? The focus is meant to be on the two main characters, with the other’s supporting; how is that going?

Setting: This is not a ‘setting’ story as far as physical surroundings (not like, say, Georgette Heyer), but the setting does need to support the story (especially culture). Is there anything I can add to that that would help?

Tension: I am trying to develop several tensions simultaneously. Are they beginning to form in your mind? Can you guess what they are? Can you see anywhere I could have added to them in a way consistent with the story?

POV: Each section should have its own POV, which should become obvious in the first sentence. The young hero should NEVER be the POV. Feel free to point out where I have gone astray.

Theology: I am always open to comments about theology. What in the story do you see that reflects or is opposed to the Biblical narratives and/or teachings? Can you see a Biblical character or situation reflected in any of the culture or characters situation?

---

Thank you for reading Von’s Substack. I would love it if you commented! I love hearing from readers, especially critical comments. I would love to start more letter exchanges, so if there’s a subject you’re interested in, get writing and tag me!

Being ‘restacked’ and mentioned in ‘notes’ is very important for lesser-known stacks so… feel free! I’m semi-retired and write as a ministry (and for fun) so you don’t need to feel guilty you aren’t paying for anything, but if you enjoy my writing (even if you dramatically disagree with it), then restack, please! Or mention me in one of your own posts.

If I don’t write you back it is almost certain that I didn’t see it, so please feel free to comment and link to your post. Or if you just think I would be interested in your post!

If you get lost, check out my ‘Table of Contents’ which I try to keep up to date.

Thanks again, God Bless, Soli Deo gloria,

Von

---

Links

Article 17

Article 17 is a military science fiction story with aliens and romance. It is set in a future reminiscent of Napoleon era Britain. The war was going very poorly until the military installed a dictator. This story follows one of the dictator’s great men: Cladin Tomirosh, Leader, and thrice decorated hero.

Intro // Podcast Version

She was pretty, popular, snobby, and a planetary governor’s daughter. He was the son of shopkeepers, a social misfit, and a decorated hero. She thought she was there to dance. He had other ideas.

A Dance // Podcast Version

As a governor’s daughter, Illoia usually avoided such events, but when the captain made the announcement that there was to be an Article 17 dance, she, too, was forced to attend. If only the scum hadn’t been there too.

The Unbridgeable Chasm // Podcast Version

Eukles and Meriones, brave military leaders, quail at the idea of crossing the gulf between themselves and asking a lass to dance.

There He Is // Podcast Version

The young hero comes in, and Aleshia and Illoyia gossip about him.

Look at the Young Hero // Podcast Version

The young hero comes in, and greets Eukles and Meriones… and announces his intentions.

Target // Podcast Version

Tom, Leader Cladin Tomirosh, sets his sights on the governors daughter. She isn’t impressed.

Fuming // Podcast Version

Tom and Illoia dance, while she desperately tries to get him to go away!

Now’s Our Chance! // Podcast Version

Eukles and Meriones use Tom and Illoia as a distraction and stalk their own girls.

To Slap or Not to Slap // Podcast Version

Meriones introduces himself to his new wife with a slap on the backside.

No Sane Man // Podcast Version

Illoia insults the young hero, and he proposes.

Never You, Darling // Podcast Version

Illoia finds herself unable to turn down his proposal.

A Wild Dance // Podcast Version

Illoia finds being Tom’s Consented Wife hard… with wild New Irish dances and immodest ones.